Tottenham get Young Boys!

I had just woke up one Friday in the early afternoon and was going through the usual wake up routine you know looking at the ceiling thinking for fucksake why did I have to wake up again I fucking hate waking up almost as much as I hate breathing. Then I calmed down when I received a text message. I like text messages I don’t get many ☹ Of the people who still actually “like” me in the real world outside of Facebook there are only a fraction of them brave enough to send me text messages most of them keep me at arms length and consider me quite the weirdo, text messages make me feel human again, most of them!! I like being considered weird I can get away with calling rooms full of people cunts and they give me a bye ball.

So the text is from a mate who says simply “young boys… mmmmmmm…” and I am like WHA? I began thinking I would never had expected him in particular to start up hill gardening, he’s a mans man and his girlfriend had a wee babby a while back I thought he was happy enough. I still wasn’t getting the deal until he rang and said Tottenham had gotten “young boys” in the Champions League Qualifier.

Isn’t Football full of enough gay undertones without some fucking campster naming a team Young Boys? I was confused I had read an article in one of Sundays papers which had given five possibilities of who Spurs may get in the Qualifier and there was no mention of Young Boys in fact I had never even heard of this team at all.

So who are Young Boys and where do they come from? They’re a Swiss league outfit from the city of Bern and get this their stadium used to be called the “wankdorf” stadium as they hail from the Wankdorf area of the city. I practiced saying wankdorf many times laughing to myself because with a bit of speed and linguistic trickery it’s possible to nearly omit the “r” this will have hilarious results when the Tottenham fans get their ‘erm tongues round that one!

This team were apparently 13 points clear in the Swiss league at one point last season but got piped to the title after a disastrous end to their season they have also lost their first three games of this season.

I want to know what sort of a weirdo names a team young boys it’s all a bit Charles Lawton or Cathal Ó Searcaigh don’t you think?

This is however the best possible draw we could have hoped for. Of course it’s not over yet this bunch of young man handlers knocked Fenerbache up, I mean out, knocked Fenerbache out in the last round but I am quietly confident that Spurs will be having them… in a manner of speaking!

Fucksake people.. What the fuck is wrong with us?

I read an article in the Times on Friday about an incident that happened in England. I have forgotten where exactly and I don't have the article to hand but a towns a town and how important are names in the big scheme of things anyway?

So there's this Indian Restaurant that's very popular and their curries are in demand. They would get a lot of customers who phone in then come by to collect only stopping briefly outside. Over time what starts happening is the people stopping are getting fixed penalty notices and getting their cars clamped in some cases so the owners of the restaurant decide to put up a sign in their window warning drivers of this.

What happens next is pure madness! They get a court summons and as it turns out the company doing the Clamping are suing them for loss of earnings. It eventually gets thrown out of court but seriously for anyone to even be able to consider such a thing is crazy.

Fucksake people. What the fuck is wrong with us?

400!?

Are things actually getting worse or has it always been this way and I have only become aware of it recently? I am unsure which answer is accurate but I do know that humanity is socially constipated. I read an article in the Independent about kids being expelled from school that’s what we called it when I was at school, expulsion, great word (s) why did they not just make expelsion the noun of expel? Sounds OK to me. Now they call it exclusion, the kids nowadays get excluded from school sounds very like exclusive maybe it’s to keep up with our celebrity culture. What is it though with changing names? It’s like we then expect the associated action to be different.

Anyway 720 four year olds got “excluded” from schools last year in Britain. Seriously four year olds, and of that number 200 got exclusions due to assaults on adults you couldn’t make this stuff up. In most cases the “adults” were either teachers or teaching assistants and in every case they were fucking wimps. I mean I don’t condone child abuse but if I was going to be in a fight with a four year old I would expect her/him to bring a few mates I could take about 6 of the wee fuckers.

I want to raise two important questions:

1. How much damage can a rabid four year old do without a weapon?
2. Are we going to soon be expecting children of ever decreasing ages to have the same moral responsibilities as adults?

If we’re living in a collective wherein this sort of thing is going to become commonplace we’ll soon have mothers dragging little Jemima to court because she spewed on her granny during a bout of the terrible two’s!

Fucksake people. What the fuck is wrong with us?